That is kind of how I deal with things, when life gives me a bump in the road...I talk, I talk to anyone who will listen. So it's no surprise that I would want to talk to you my bloggy friends, it's comforting to be able to get things "off my chest". I wish that I could sit with you in real life and have a cupcake or a glass of wine. I believe there is a good reason why wine and cupcakes were invented, especially the wine. It just seems to calm you down. The Monday before last I finally scheduled my mammogram, it was due in October, but I wasn't so concerned about it, there is no breast cancer on either side of my family that I'm aware of. They called on Monday to schedule a second Mammogram which was done on Tuesday. I went and thought I'd be in and out so I didn't have lunch before I went, {the appt. was at 11 :45.} After the Mammogram they sent me to have an Ultrasound, they took pictures for over an hour. Ok I'm thinking to myself that is weird, that seems to be a long time for ultrasound pictures. Then the doctor came in and said, "We need to do a Biopsy". That's when the brakes inside my head start screetching....that involves needles. I can handle the smashing of my breasts into a plastic vice until my size F cup breasts look like a pancake...that doesn't bother me at all, BUT NEEDLES, not a big fan. Seriously NOT a big fan!! I remember when I was in grade school that they were giving the Polio vaccine and two nurses {one of the nurses looked like she played as a linebacker for the LA Rams} were dragging me down the school hallway as I was kicking and screaming, and I was about seven years old. Thats kind of how I looked whent he did my biopsy, I know I know I'm 45...Another time I had to give blood and fainted as I watched the blood go in the syringe. I even told my doctor in childbirth that I DID NOT want the epidural I would have the baby naturally. Yep..just the vision of the needle stopped me dead in my tracks. So the biopsy part...was the part that scared me, not the idea of having cancer, well that too. But I told myself I 'll worry about that when I come to that bridge. I kicked and squirmed like I was seven all over again. I had to apologize to the TWO nurses that had to hold me down before I bolted out the door. I'm a baby, I know. I went home with a bandage on my boobs and was told they would know the results of the biopsy today. My doctor called this afternoon with the news every women dreads to hear. "Unfortunately, it's cancer". Yes, I have breast cancer in my left breast. So I'll call tomorrow and make arrangements to line up a surgeon to take the next step. But as I take one step at a time I'll just remember to keep Calm and maybe once in awhile have a cupcake too!! or a bottle glass of wine.
If anyone that has gone through this or knows of someone, I would love to hear about it either in the comment section or an email. Thanks for letting me vent my concerns on this very open forum, you guys are the best, I wish I could have you over for some wine or a cupcake or two.