I'm a talker...

That is kind of how I deal with things, when life gives me a bump in the road...I talk,  I talk to anyone who will listen.   So it's no surprise that I would want to talk to you my bloggy friends, it's comforting to be able to get things "off my chest".   I wish that I could sit with you in real life and have a cupcake or a glass of wine.   I believe there is a good reason why wine and cupcakes were invented, especially the wine.  It just seems to calm you down. The Monday before last I finally scheduled my mammogram, it was due in October, but I wasn't so concerned about it, there is no breast cancer on either side of my family that I'm aware of.  They called on Monday to schedule a second Mammogram which was done on Tuesday.  I went and thought I'd be in and out so I didn't have lunch before I went, {the appt. was at 11 :45.}  After the Mammogram they sent me to have an Ultrasound, they took pictures for over an hour.  Ok I'm thinking to myself that is weird, that seems to be a long time for ultrasound pictures.  Then the doctor came in and said, "We need to do a Biopsy".  That's when the brakes inside my head start screetching....that involves needles.  I can handle the smashing of my breasts into a plastic vice until my size F cup breasts look like a pancake...that doesn't bother me at all, BUT NEEDLES, not a big fan.  Seriously NOT a big fan!!  I remember when I was in grade school that they were giving the Polio vaccine and two nurses {one of the nurses looked like she played as a linebacker for the LA Rams} were dragging me down the school hallway as I was kicking and screaming, and I was about seven years old.  Thats kind of how I looked whent he did my biopsy, I know I know I'm 45...Another time I had to give blood and fainted as I watched the blood go in the syringe.  I even told my doctor in childbirth that I DID NOT want the epidural I would have the baby naturally.  Yep..just the vision of the needle stopped me dead in my tracks.  So the biopsy part...was the part that scared me, not the idea of having cancer, well that too.  But I told myself I 'll worry about that when I come to that bridge.  I kicked and squirmed like I was seven all over again.  I had to apologize to the TWO nurses that had to hold me down before I bolted out the door.  I'm a baby, I know.  I went home with a bandage on my boobs and was told they would know the results of the biopsy today.  My doctor called this afternoon with the news every women dreads to hear.  "Unfortunately, it's cancer".   Yes, I have breast cancer in my left breast.  So I'll call tomorrow and make arrangements to line up a surgeon to take the next step.  But as I take one step at a time I'll just remember to keep Calm and maybe once in awhile have a cupcake too!!  or a bottle glass of wine.

If anyone that has gone through this or knows of someone, I would love to hear about it either in the comment section or an email.  Thanks for letting me vent my concerns on this very open forum, you guys are the best, I wish I could have you over for some wine or a cupcake or two. 

Comments

[Sandy McAllister]

My goodness that is sure shocking news. I'm glad that you are a proponent of mammograms and that you had that done. I have several friends that have had surgery and are doing fine. My prayers are with you as you undergo everything that will happen and that you will live a long fruitful life.

[pam]

Wow, Ellie, how scary. I know you must be frightened but breast cancer is not the death sentence it once was. I am sure you some through this. It may be a bump in the road but you have a great attitude towards life and that will play a HUGE role in your recovery. Jon is almost 10 years out from his colon cancer treatment. Every minute there are new treatments. You will be fine. Hang in there and please keep us posted!

[lisamcg]

Oh gosh Ellie. I was not expecting to read that this morning.
You are such a positive person. You are gonna kick this in record time, Im sure. Cancer in this day and age is so beatable. I believe you're goonna be fine.
Stay positive. Listen to your doctors and if you need something be sure to ask.
Thinking of you,
Lisa

[Sandy Blaxland]

What awful news to hear! My heart is aching for you! My girlfriend Lucy went through breast cancer 2 yr ago. She had her left breast removed; and with wonderful love and support from her husband, with her amazing optimistic spirit and love for life, and with lots of prayers and friends, she has sailed through this. She does stick faithfully to her breast cancer buddies; she says she desperately needs them.

I wish I could say or do more. You need someone who's been through it themselves.

I will say this though: breast cancer is beatable! And we're all rooting for you.

[gabrielle]

Thanks for all the emails and comments. I'll be seeing the surgeon on Monday so I'll know what the next plan of attack is. Yes..i believe it is beatable and as my Daughter's teacher said, "if you had to choose a cancer this is the one you'd want to choose". I know that sounds weird but it makes sense. Thanks so much for all your encouraging thoughts. Love ya.

[shelley e]

Ellie I am so sorry to hear that-I know that you will be beat it...

I will be thinking & praying for you...

[Linda@ Restyled Home]

Hi Ellie,

Well, I wasn't expecting that when I checked in with you this morning!
My heart goes out to you that you have this battle ahead, but it is a battle I know you will take on full charge and with your great attitude and the many treatments available, I believe you will come out the victor. Pleae accept a (virtual) hug from me and know I am rooting for you.

Much love,
Linda
xo

[Melissa]

I am so, so sorry to hear that. Just know you have big prayers for you in Texas... and they won't cease until the cancer is gone. xoxo

[tammy hebert]

OH my goodness. I just read this. I am so sorry but you have a great attitude about it. You are strong and you will conquer this bully. Just hit it head on and do whatever it takes. You will do great I can tell.

[Heather]

Oh heavens!! I am so sorry to hear you news!! May God be w/ you and know you bloggie friends are on your side!!

[Stephanie O.]

My dear friend discovered she had breast cancer almost exactly 2 years ago at the age of 44. After surgery and reconstructive surgery, she is doing great! She told me it was difficult learning of the cancer during the holiday season, but she said on the flip side, all the activities helped keep her moving about and getting out of the house.

I'm sending good thoughts your way!!!

[Cristina]

OH my goodness. Ellie, I'm at a loss for words. I would never have guessed it. I had been meaning to call you, but one thing leads to another and I get stuck late at work... AGAIN. Please, please, please let me know if you need anything at all. From a cheer me up, to dinner made, to the girls driven to games, whatever. I know you're a string willed woman that can make it through this. Love you!

[The Pleasures of Homemaking]

Ellie, I'm so glad you had your mammogram! Although I'm very sorry the results were not good news. You have a great attitude which I understand is half the battle. I know you'll be fine.

Manuela

[gabrielle]

Thank you for your encouranging comments. I have a plan of attack from my surgeon but I'm waiting on getting a second opinion from a second doctor. Most likely the surgery will happen after the 25th.

[Jan]

You have a great site. While you are waiting Google alkalizing the body - it will be a tremendous help. You have such a wonderful positive attitude!!

[Layla Palmer]

Ellie,

I am so sorry to hear the news. :-(
Your warm nature and positive outlook will no doubt help you to conquer it!

We will keep you in our prayers.
Warmest wishes to you friend-

Layla

[gabrielle]

Thanks again everyone for your encouraging thoughts and words. I had a second opinioun on Monday with the City of Hope people. they did a very thourogh examination and I'm scheduled for a MRI on Tuesday. With more biopsies and tests to follow. As soon as it's cleared through my insurance I'll be setting a date for surgery, most likely the second week in January. I will probably have a lupectomy with radiation called Mammosite. I'll have it for five days twice a day as long as it is NOT found in my lymph nodes. I'd just want to keep everyone informed of my progression through my disease.